Taylor Swift's Speak Now Review

 Initial thoughts with the Speak Now album by Taylor Swift . . . It's definitely my favorite of her albums!! It hits close to home. It's touching, it's refreshing, it's captivating, Swift has out done herself this time. Raw emotion lace each song making it personal. I'm going to be making a video review soon, so that should be up, but I wanted to post pics before then. Enjoy!!

Freaking Gorgeous

http://ithinkyourefreakinggorgeous.com/

Teenagers

Adolescents, more commonly referred to as teenagers, are the future of our countries and we should be excited about it! Well, at least, that's what about half of the adult population believes. The other half tend to lean towards the, “Teenagers are awful scumbags just waiting to kill their parents!” Hmm, I don't think I agree with either of those analysis'. And I am a teenager, so my opinion has to count for something right?

Before the term “adolescence” was coined, there was a “rite of passage” ceremony, or some other service that distinguished childhood from adulthood. The moment the child became and adult, they had responsibilities they had to take care of, possibly even a wife or husband that needed attention, there was no room for the drama that is teenage-hood now.

Teenagers are always thinking of the questions, “Who am I? What am I good for?” If a teen doesn't think that they are good for anything, they probably will tend to lean towards suicide as a better option than existence. I'm sure that is why suicide is one of the leading causes of death between the ages of thirteen and twenty-one. Who am I? A question seemingly easy to most adults, I am a farmer, I am an accountant, I am a beautician, I am a mom. Teens don't have such an easy answer, we don't have careers to define us, we have our school year. I am a sophomore, I am a junior, a senior? Or even, I am a McDonald's hamburger flipper. I don't think so. It's not the same. There are so many high school students, we all just kind of flow together. That's where cliques and dressing come in.

Cliques are a way of telling us who we are. They give us rules to follow, standards, a certain way to speak, dress, etc. To us, not everyone appears to be in our clique and so we feel significant, different from everyone else. Like we have a purpose, and that someone cares about us. The way we dress is a good indication of what kind of clique we are in, and/or the way we wish other people to see us in the world.

Teens need to feel love and acceptance from those around them. Parents, teachers, church leaders, friends, extended family, it all matters. There is unconditional love which we must receive from our parents and extended family, though we know and feel a certain responsibility when it comes to having love and trust from teachers, classmates and religious teachers. Responsibility and trust are very important at this age because if we don't feel we are given enough trust or independence we feel inadequate, stupid, worthless, etc. Then again, we also are still kids, we don't like to have mounds of responsibility thrown upon us. We need an adults help when we get into sticky situations, but I'd suggest to parents, that you allowed us to come to you for help, instead of you coming to us. We tend to have a similar way of thinking as a three year old, we feel hurt when we aren't allowed to try and figure out messes ourselves. If you feel the adolescent needs your help, kindly ask them if they'd like it, and if they don't, back off for a few days. If they solve the problem on their own, that's fantastic! If they don't, casually mention it in a private setting so that they feel comfortable talking with you if that's their desire.

Teens are not going to fix their countries problems any more than adults can now. Yes, we are the future of our country, yes we care, but no, we're unlikely to fix problems that have lasted thirty plus years. Then again, we aren't dirt bags, we aren't all a bunch of kids running around on the weekends aiming to get drunk or stoned. The reality is, the only reason why most of the population believes that's how we are is because those are the kind of teens you see on the news. You're never going to hear about an average teen who got a 3.4 GPA, you're only going to hear about the ones that throw turkeys out of windows on the freeway, you're only going to hear about the ones that do community service, play an instrument, sing, act AND maintain a 4.0 GPA. To tell you the truth, we're not like that. Some, but very few, are like that. We're kids, we want to have fun, we love life, we do our best in things we care about, but that's all. We want you to respect us, let us have some freedom with responsibility. Don't treat us like we're imbeciles or even like we're going to change the world, because most likely, we're not.

Captain Jack Sparrow to the rescue as Johnny Depp arrives at Greenwich school | News

Captain Jack Sparrow to the rescue as Johnny Depp arrives at Greenwich school | News

This is the bomb! Johnny Depp you've just become my hero!

No Excuses

I don't have many excuses for not putting up a meaningful post today, except that I'm exhausted!! Emotionally, mentally and physically. I need to be getting to bed earlier. So . . . my advice to you is, early to bed, early to rise! I'm having a really hard time with English this year, I've NEVER had a hard time with this kind of class before. But for some reason this year . . . I'm thinking it's all of the homework and projects . . . sigh. Today I took quite a long nap and felt a little bit better. Later I went to my lil sis's band concert and saw some of my old friends that went to a different high school then me, so that was wonderful! but, now, here it is about nine thirty and I'm exhausted again. I can NOT wait until fall break next week, I really need to catch up on some things. I hope you forgive me for not putting something useful up today! But a heads up on the next post, it'll be on the Nature vs Nurture debate. Your thoughts? Well, I'll tell you mine soon. Love you guys!


Song of the day:

Nature vs Nurture

People are born certain ways. They are born having characteristics of shyness, selfishness, intelligence, etc. However, our society contributes to the way that child is going to act in the long run. Our culture suggests that men are to be more strong, a protector, and shouldn’t cry. Women are supposed to be either the perky, bubbly, ditzy kind of girl or the shy doesn’t say as much woman. Not all men and women are like that initially when they are born though. I’d say about half of the people in our society aren’t acting the way they’d feel most comfortable with. Men feel that in order to be a real man they can’t be shy, or work at home, or even have fears. Women feel that they must act a certain way to be accepted, it’s getting a little bit better in the female society with women’s rights activists but there is still an underlying sense of women being out of place in the working field.

“Flanagan (2002) explored the Minnesota study in which a set of twins was raised separately. In one case, a set of identical twins was raised apart, known as the Jim twins. They did not meet until they were almost forty and had many similarities even though they were raised apart. ‘The Minnesota twin study concluded that on multiple measures of personality and temperament, occupational and leisure-time interests and social attitudes, mono-zygotic twins reared apart are about as similar as are mono-zygotic twins reared together’” (www.associatedcontent.com, The Childhood Development Nature vs Nurture Debate Continues, Friendly Teacher).

There are some things I believe all people are born with though, such as happiness and goodness. Nobody is born sad and nobody is born evil. Through personal experiences, one is going to either become sad or evil or stay good and happy. If someone is abused that could contribute to later sadness or depression. The same applies for those who were not disciplined as a child. Those who are not disciplined are more likely to become criminals, or get into other trouble with the law. I don’t think anyone has ever seen an evil baby. Most babies, if not all, are happy and will stay that way until their experiences alter their perspective in life.

Several years ago, scientists were fond of the idea that only one of the two options was an answer to the dilemma. In recent years, scientists have found that both play significant parts, they’re now deciding on which factor plays a more important role in how that child is going to turn out. Personally, I think environment determines how the person is going to act in later years, and genetics determines how the child is going to act in younger years. Personally, I think environment determines how the person is going to act in later years, and genetics determines how the child is going to act in younger years. When a child is young they don’t have the experiences and social pressures that an adult has and so they feel completely free to act as they wish. Whereas adults are expected to act the ways society presents them to act.

In conclusion, nature and nurturing both play significant roles in how a child is going to turn out. Depending on our experiences, our minds and roles will mature as will our thought processes. If we’re born shy and not taught to be out going we’ll be shy our whole lives. If we’re immature and not taught to take responsibility we will be immature our whole lives.

Holes, Cliffs and Fences

Recently I fell into a hole. There was a cover on it making it appear steady. I casually was walking when I stepped inside. Shock over came me and I quickly pulled out my leg. Unfortunately my leg became extremely bruised. Yellowing and purple marks were scattered all up my leg, it wasn't pretty, plus there was some scratches that added to the whole mess. Three weeks later I still can not feel a section of my leg, if you were to come up and touch it I wouldn't have any idea unless I saw you put your finger there!

"Now what does this all have to do with our lives? I mean, it's all fine and dandy that you fell in a hole and can't feel a part of your leg, but how is this applicable to me?" you say.

Occasionally we fall into emotional holes or fall of cliffs. Sometimes we can't get up by ourselves. Luckily when I fell into the hole, I had some people nearby that helped pull me out, this is like those people that help us out as of our emotional holes, our supports - friends and family. We all get depressed and feel down, it's a natural human emotion. But it is unnatural for that emotion to start affecting normal life. You should be able to bounce back and get out of your pothole. If you're so depressed you aren't getting out of bed to eat, to brush your teeth or get dressed you might want to consider seeing a therapist.

However, there are ways that we can prevent falling into holes or falling off of cliffs. We can put up fences. Fences are like our standards, if we know where we stand on certain issues it won't be a problem when we are faced with the temptation preventing later heartache and depression. If you know that you are never going to smoke a cigarette, when someone offers you one, you won't be tempted to take it. If you know you're not going to kiss, hold hands, or whatever on the first date than you won't have as hard of a time saying no if the choice arises.

A Fence or an Ambulance Joseph Malins (1895) - a poem about prevention - 'Twas a dangerous cliff, as they freely confessed, Though to walk near its crest was so pleasant; But over its terrible edge there had slipped A duke and full many a peasant. So the people said something would have to be done, But their projects did not at all tally; Some said, "Put a fence 'round the edge of the cliff," Some, "An ambulance down in the valley."

But the cry for the ambulance carried the day, For it spread through the neighboring city; A fence may be useful or not, it is true, But each heart became full of pity For those who slipped over the dangerous cliff; And the dwellers in highway and alley Gave pounds and gave pence, not to put up a fence, But an ambulance down in the valley.

"For the cliff is all right, if your careful," they said, "And, if folks even slip and are dropping, It isn't the slipping that hurts them so much As the shock down below when they're stopping." So day after day, as these mishaps occurred, Quick forth would those rescuers sally To pick up the victims who fell off the cliff, With their ambulance down in the valley.

Then an old sage remarked: "It's a marvel to me That people give far more attention To repairing results than to stopping the cause, When they'd much better aim at prevention. Let us stop at its source all this mischief," cried he, "Come, neighbors and friends, let us rally; If the cliff we will fence, we might almost dispense With the ambulance down in the valley."

"Oh he's a fanatic," the others rejoined, "Dispense with the ambulance? Never! He'd dispense with all charities, too, if he could; No! No! We'll support them forever. Aren't we picking up folks just as fast as they fall? And shall this man dictate to us? Shall he? Why should people of sense stop to put up a fence, While the ambulance works in the valley?"

But the sensible few, who are practical too, Will not bear with such nonsense much longer; They believe that prevention is better than cure, And their party will soon be the stronger. Encourage them then, with your purse, voice, and pen, And while other philanthropists dally, They will scorn all pretense, and put up a stout fence On the cliff that hangs over the valley.

Better guide well the young than reclaim them when old, For the voice of true wisdom is calling. "To rescue the fallen is good, but 'tis best To prevent other people from falling." Better close up the source of temptation and crime Than deliver from dungeon or galley; Better put a strong fence 'round the top of the cliff Than an ambulance down in the valley.f

Healthy Relationships

What makes a relationship healthy? How can I tell if I am in an unhealthy relationship? If I am in an unhealthy relationship, how do I fix it?

Great questions!

Characteristics of a healthy relationship include good communication skills. Persons in a good relationship take the time to genuinely listen to each other, listening with their heart not only their ears. They ask questions, they share information, they don't hold grudges. Other key factors consist of dependability, being realistic in expectations as well as flexibility. Arguing in a relationship isn't necessarily unhealthy, one thing to keep in mind, however, don't assume how the other person is feeling! Facial expressions aren't always an automatic door into how the person is feeling. Instead, ask questions and invite them to share how they're feeling, as well as not holding back your own feelings.

The Art of Listening:
Listen to understand
Pay attention to more than just the words coming out of their mouth
Try to put yourself in the speaker's situation
Put aside your own opinions for the time being
Show interest and empathy
DO NOT interrupt
Clear up misunderstandings before you being your own talking

"I" Messages:
An "I" message is a wonderful way to communicate! The basic format for this statement would be . . .
1. I feel . . . . State how you feel
2. When you . . . . Name the behavior
3. Because . . . . State the reason
4. I like it when . . . . Name the behavior you want from that person
This format can be used for both positive and negative reactions!
When someone is not nice to you, you can use this format to explain to them the problem.
"I feel violated when you enter my room without my permission because I feel you don't respect my privacy. I like it when you ask me before you go in my room."
Using this form I've been getting a lot more positive results in my conversations and life. Particularly with my brother, he respects and understands what I'm saying. Sarcasm is completely eliminated and not an issue anymore! You can also use this way of communicating just as easily when you're pleased with the way someone's treating you.
"I feel happy when you invite me to hang out because you seem to like me. I like it when we're considerate and friendly with each other."

A good relationship will only be brought to pass when good communication is used consistently! If I was to tell you something I thought was important to my life, I'd want you to listen right? However, often times we don't want to listen to what the other person is saying because we don't find it interesting. Does this sound familiar? Parents! When your child is saying something about their day, (especially when you've asked them about it!!) you had better listen! What your child is saying is particularly important to them and they want your help or at least a listening ear. Kids! Be compassionate, your parents have a lot on their mind and they care about you but occasionally they have other things they need to tend to. In order to make sure talking to them is convenient you could consider asking them for an "appointment" or just a time where you can talk to them with their undivided attention.

Domestic Violence Cycle:
There are three typical phases to the domestic violence cycle.
Tension Building - Insults, threats, yelling
Violent Episode - Hitting, pushing, throwing objects
Honeymoon Phase - Apologies, promises, gifts
Any of this sound familiar? It is likely you are in an abusive relationship with your significant other, you deserve a healthy relationship! Do NOT settle for what this person is giving you. Either seek marriage counseling or get out! The average victim will leave the abuser 7-8 times before making the final break! Don't let that become you, you deserve so much better.
Remember, you CAN leave a relationship!!

Teen Dating Violence:
Did you know that a teen can get a restraining order with out their parents knowledge?
16 to 25 year olds are at the highest risk of dating violence
About 70% of sexual assault cases involve date rape
1/3 high school girls have experienced dating violence

Recognizing signs:
Calls you names in front of people
Becomes more and more controlling
Makes excuses for the behavior (often the excuse is your action)
Loose their temper breaking things, hitting things when mad
Frequently cancels plans at the last minute
Demanding where you have been, who you have been with, what you have been doing



What you deserve-
Being listened to seriously
Treated with respect
Feeling safe
Not abused emotionally, sexually, or physically
You can leave any relationship or fall out of love!

Dating Skills-
Don't base your self esteem on your ability to get a date
Ask questions and get facts before accepting a date
Don't hesitate to call your parents if you need help
Communicate your plans with your parents
Stick with your commitments and don't change your plans if someone "better" comes along
Be honest and kind when you turn someone down for a date
Be okay with staying home when you don't have a date

You have the right to a good healthy relationship! Let's work on our communication, recognize the signs of abuse and make our world a better place. God bless you.

I'll Stand By You

Luke 10
  25 And, behold, a certain lawyer stood up, and tempted him, saying, Master, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?

  26 He said unto him, What is written in the law? how readest thou?

  27 And he answering said, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbour as thyself.

  28 And he said unto him, Thou hast answered right: this do, and thou shalt live.

  29 But he, willing to justify himself, said unto Jesus, And who is my neighbor?

  30 And Jesus answering said, A certain man went down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell among thieves, which stripped him of his raiment, and wounded him, and departed, leaving him half dead.

  31 And by chance there came down a certain priest that way: and when he saw him, he passed by on the other side.

  32 And likewise a Levite, when he was at the place, came and looked on him, and passed by on the other side.

  33 But a certain Samaritan, as he journeyed, came where he was: and when he saw him, he had compassion on him,

  34 And went to him, and bound up his wounds, pouring in oil and wine, and set him on his own beast, and brought him to an inn, and took care of him.

  35 And on the morrow when he departed, he took out two pence, and gave them to the host, and said unto him, Take care of him; and whatsoever thou spendest more, when I come again, I will repay thee.

  36 Which now of these three, thinkest thou, was neighbour unto him that fell among the thieves?

  37 And he said, He that shewed mercy on him. Then said Jesus unto him, Go, and do thou likewise. 

 May we be a good Samaritan in our own lives, comfort those that stand in need of comfort, mourn with those that mourn and serve the broken hearted. God bless you.

Casting Stones

Why is it that we have the idea in our heads that we must judge one another? Everyone on this earth has at some point made a mistake, whether it is something small such as forgetting to mop the floor on a Saturday or something pretty big such as killing another human being and everything in between. When we make mistakes we are ashamed of, naturally as human beings we want to hide it. We do everything in our power to not feel the humiliation that ultimately comes of the word getting out. Human nature is to worry about what other people are thinking about and saying about you.

Recently, I made some mistakes and did some things I am not proud of. I did my best to keep it a secret, but . . . word got out. I'm not going to bore you with the details, because this blog post is not meant to be a pity party, it's meant to be enlightening. Opening people's eyes to the fact that what they say does hurt. You might think you're saying it to only one person, but one person leads to another person, and so on eventually reaching the person the gossip and stories are about. That's exactly what happened in my situation.

I hate to say it, but suicide was an option in my mind. I couldn't figure out how I was going to get out of my hurt. I've tried to be good, but no one's perfect. I couldn't figure out how I could rebuild my goody-goody-two-shoes reputation back when I had been so hideously hurt and defiled. My mind was a dark abyss of despair. Nightmares were all I had in my sleep. I contemplated knives, pills, burning . . . so many horrible ways to end it all.

Then one day I woke up and it hit me. God, Jesus Christ and I know what happened, we know that I am beautiful, I have been forgiven, They know my heart and They love me. Someone who had made a mistake! Christ atoned for our sins so that we can be free from a guilt so heavy it leads some to suicide. It's the same for each and every one of us, we have a work to do here on this earth, and no one will be able to do is as well as you can.

As of now, I feel healthy again. Again the only reason I'm telling you my story, is to help you understand, contemplate and realize, what you say makes a difference! I don't want to force my beliefs on you, but I feel that in order for our society to function well, we must understand our impact on other people. When you're feeling down, make it a point to serve, compliment and help someone in need. It'll help that person as well as helping you know how special YOU are and how much of a difference you can be in the world. Ghandi said, "Be the change you wish to see in the world," I challenge you to do just that! You can make a difference, you! Please, this is my plea, don't hurt others. Think about what you're going to say, before you say it. Could this potentially hurt someone? If yes, then don't say it.

In conclusion, I'd like to share some of my favorite scripture from John section 8, I hope you make a point in your life to consciously think about what you're going to do, say, etc. It's not our place to judge. Only God has the authority to do that.

Who are we to judge someone when we, ourselves, walk in imperfect ways?

John 8
1 Jesus went unto the mount of Olives.

2 And early in the morning he came again into the temple, and all the people came unto him; and he sat down, and taught them.

3 And the scribes and Pharisees brought unto him a woman taken in adultery; and when they had set her in the midst,

4 They say unto him, Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act.

5 Now Moses in the law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest thou?

6 This they said, tempting him, that they might have to accuse him. But Jesus stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground, as though he heard them not.

7 So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.

8 And again he stooped down, and wrote on the ground.

9 And they which heard it, being convicted by their own conscience, went out one by one, beginning at the eldest, even unto the last: and Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst.

10 When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee?

11 She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.

Morals, Making out, Motherhood and Mankind

1st Morals
Scenario # 1
A woman was near death from a unique kind of cancer. There is a drug that might save her. The drug costs $4,000 per dosage. The sick woman's husband, Heinz, went to everyone he knew to borrow the money and tried every legal means, but he could only get together about $2,000. He asked the doctor scientist who discovered the drug for a discount or let him pay later. But the doctor scientist refused.
Should Heinz break into the laboratory to steal the drug for his wife? Why or why not?

Scenario # 2
Heinz broke into the laboratory and stole the drug. The next day, the newspapers reported the break-in and theft. Brown, a police officer and a friend of Heinz remembered seeing Heinz last evening, behaving suspiciously near the laboratory. Later that night, he saw Heinz running away from the laboratory.
Should Brown report what he saw? Why or why not?

Scenario # 3
Officer Brown reported what he saw. Heinz was arrested and brought to court. If convicted, he faces up to two years' jail. Heinz was found guilty.
Should the judge sentence Heinz to prison? Why or why not?

Hmmmm, I have no idea!! Those are some tough questions. What do you guys think?

2nd Making out
Making out in public . . . appropriate? I think not. A quick peck on the cheek is one thing but eating each other's faces off seems to be quite another! When you get to the point of open mouth, using tongue, whatever, in public it has gone too far. It might be fine in private, but when other people are feeling uncomfortable because of the affection it's out of control. Again, PDA (public display of affection) doesn't bother me, but PDT (public display of tongue) lets just say I'm a little appalled.

3rd Motherhood
Motherhood, yah . . . I'm a mama . . . of an egg . . . no joke. I've been carrying around an egg for my psychology class, we're studying development. Of course I thought this project was going to be tons of fun! Easy and a great experience. Ha!! I've never been proven wrong so quickly. Within an hour of carrying that stinken egg around (I named it Nikki) I was ready to fling it at a wall! After a week of hauling it around, receiving snickering glances and even pointed fingers I was completely through! The day I was supposed to turn my egg in, you'll never believe what happened. It cracked. No joke, the day of!! I was going to get 5 extra credit points if I hadn't had to "adopt" a new egg from the refrigerator. Luckily, the egg wasn't too damaged, and I believed it could be saved until class. Oh boy, this is where I get mad! Guess whose psychology teacher isn't there that day! Guess whose psychology teacher is in fact at a cross country race 50 some odd miles away! Yah . . . mine. That egg hasn't seen the light of day since. it's been shoved in my locker awaiting the day it's puny life can finally be ended by going down the garbage disposal. I'm so glad I'm not a mom yet. and even when I am . . . I'll probably only have two kids. maybe three. tops.

4th Mankind
Kind of a broad topic, but I found the "M" theme kinda fun :D Anyways, the things I wanted to talk about mankind surround the subject of gossip and the evils that come of it. "What you have not witnessed with your eyes do not witness with your mouth," says a Jewish proverb, may I add onto that, however, even if you do see something with your eyes if it could potentially hurt someone keep your freaken mouth shut!! Yah, I'm mad. In our neighborhood a bunch of young ladies are finding it necessary to spread gossip about other girls. Why do we do this to ourselves? What good is going to come from gossip? Once people find out the gossip is not true they're going to think only less of the one who was spreading it! People's feelings are hurt, trust and friendship broken, beyond repair. Gossip is vile. Often times we don't even realize we're gossiping.

Does any of this sound familiar?

A fine young man had been slandered by those gathered together that evening, accused of the serious charge of immorality. He was completely innocent, but the great damage that had been done by “those whom he counted as his friends” would not be easily repaired. Who could measure the near destruction of this good soul? Who could measure the impact on the neighborhood and friendships, as its fellowship was eroded? Who could ever undo the evil that had affected hundreds of lives?

It had happened so easily. It began with simple words like—

“Did you hear … ?”

“Mrs. Jones said …”

“I have heard that he told her …”

“I am not sure about this, but …”

“Mr. Sanchez’s cousin said that he thought …”

“I don’t want to say anything bad, but …”

“If you won’t repeat this, I guess I could tell you that …”

Do you see how easily gossip can be vicious? Do you see how hurtful and cruel it can be against someone? People with good reputations seem to be the most easily targeted, as if those around them have to prove that they aren't as perfect or as good as they seem. I don't want to sound like a preacher, but I want you to recognize that things that you say DO have an affect on people. Gossip and hurtful words contribute to SUICIDE! Suicide, a dark empty pit of despair one only will choose to cascade down if they feel all their options have run out. Instead of hurtful words, try to say kind, uplifting words, words that will make someone feel good about themselves! Words that will put a smile on someone's face.

If you don't have something nice to say, why say it at all?

"Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing's going to get better. It's not" -Dr. Seuss

And to those of you who have been victims of this hideous hurt, I say, hold your head high! You know who you are, you know where you stand, you know that despite what anyone says about you, nothing changes the marvelous person you are. Despite one's beliefs, it will never change fact.

“If you wish to travel far and fast, travel light. Take off all of your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness and fear”
- CESARE PAVESE